12 Practical Tips for Making Small Talk

Small talk, in simple terms, is a casual conversation aimed at creating a bond and familiarity between the people involved.

Its purpose is to share one’s background, opinions, and knowledge to each other.

Effective Tactics to Start Small Talk

Share an experience you have had

One of the simplest conversation starters is to share once’s experience—it does not matter what kind, it can be a place you visited, a life and death situation, an event that you helped make, etc.

As long as it is interesting, it will do well for a conversation starter.

Show an interesting picture or video

One of the simplest and best way to start small talk is to share an event that has happened either through word of mouth or with the use of media, because it takes little to no effort to do.

Another effective way to start small talk is to talk about trending news or events.

Compliment their attire or garment

Complimenting their overall appearance or personality works too; Do whatever is easiest to you, I just find complimenting their attire easier.

You can never go too far when it comes to complimenting someone, as long as the compliment is simple. Don’t make the compliment extravagant, especially when complimenting new acquaintances.

The less common compliments are in your region, the more effective it is to give compliments.

Do not lie, use honest compliments, dishonest compliments are easily seen through, it will only work on people who have big egos or low self-esteem, this will do you no good in the long run.

Cold read

Cold reading is a technique used by psychics, con-artists, and fortune-tellers. It consist of psychological tricks and information gathering techniques.

The key to cold reading is to observe nonverbal cues and use general statements that can apply to a large number of people.

It is essentially just stating statements that are questions in disguise.

To Illustrate:

Instead of asking: What are your hobbies?

Say: I bet you like reading books.

Instead of asking: Do you go to school?

Say: You must be a student.

The person can answer in a yes or no fashion, regardless of the answer, they will be curious on how you come to that conclusion.

So not only will you be able to gather information about the person, but you would also get the ability to lead the conversation to a topic of your choosing.

Things to keep in mind

Your intentions matter the most

The majority of people, whether they realize it or not, have the uncanny ability to sense your intentions; if what you say does not align with your intentions, they will grow to be suspicious of you, which will derail any plans for fostering any type of relationship.

Put aside whatever your doing

When you are in a conversation with someone while you are occupied with something else, you indirectly send the message to the person you are talking to that they are less important than what you are doing.

It is simply bad manners. This is also very detrimental when it comes to the person's first impression of you.

Unless you are using the device to share something, devices such as phones, laptops, and Gameboys should be set aside.

Pay attention to unconscious responses

While chatting, be in a lookout for unconscious responses that people emit. Deduce whether it was a positive or negative reaction.

If it was a positive reaction, then stay on topic until there is nothing left to be said; If it was a negative reaction, then change the topic.

Know when to end the conversation

Dragging on a conversation longer than it needs to be risks you to run out of topics to say, which may leave a bad taste in both of your mouths.

Knowing when the ripe time to leave a conversation can only be honed through experience.

For those with little to no experience, if you want to be safe, then say less than necessary.

Allow yourself to smile

Smile, smile at the thought of being acquainted with the person. As long as your smile is true, they will feel validated and love you for it.

Do not startle the person

Startling somebody you have just met can make it difficult for you to go from acquaintance to friend.

It can also label you as some creep who don’t understand personal space.

The following are guidelines that prevents you from startling somebody unintentionally:

• Do not approach the person from behind, if you must, call out their name first;
• Do not grab the person’s limb, shoulder, hand, belongings, without consent;
• Do not shout or scream at them (Duh!);
• Avoid stating offensive and bizarre language.

You can ignore the guidelines above if you are already on friendly terms.

Be Bold

Start talking before doubt and fear engulfs your mind; The longer you hesitate, the more likely you will make a mistake.

Give up and move on

It is impossible to be loved by all and be hated by none.

You will inevitably encounter a person you would not like or would not like you, regardless, it is best to ignore such people and focus your attention more to those who values you for you.